The Night Talker
by Alicefreak
Summary: What happens if Sasuke and Naruto are room mates? Sasuke has a diary and Naruto talks in his sleep gotta read to find out more.
1. Chapter 1

(A

(A.N. this is my second Sasunaru story even though it will probably end up Narsasu what ever well here it is.)

Chapter 1 of

The Night Talker

Sasuke walked into his new dorm room to see that his roommate had already unpacked and was gone. Looking around Sasuke thought this was a good time to hide his yaoi porn books in the bottom of his dresser and cover them up with his clothes.

Sasuke was in the middle of unpacking when a very handsome, young, blonde man walked in to the room and began to talk to him.

"Hey! You must be my new room mate, I'm Naruto, I hope you don't mind but I was told that I mumble a little in my sleep, it's not cause I've done bad stuff, which I haven't, but I heard that criminals do it some times, for me, it's just random junk that doesn't make any sense, I'm not a cereal killer or anything, I don't even like cereal, I'm more of a ramen person myself, do you like ramen, well who doesn't like ramen, come on, but I heard that some people don't like ramen, but I also heard that my neighbor married big foot which is just stupid cause bigfoot doesn't have that bad of a taste in women I don't think, cause man, is she ugly."

Sasuke was shocked. This guy's mouth went on and on like a motor. He wouldn't have been surprised if the man didn't even take a breath in between any of words! But some how, Sasuke was attracted to this guy and that feeling was not doing to go away anytime soon.

"Well I'm hungry, I'm going to the cafeteria, do you want to come? I think they have ramen, but if they don't, I don't know what I'll do." Naruto turned around and then left for the cafeteria leaving Sasuke alone even before he had time to shake his head no to the question. Sasuke went to his bed and grabbed his diary and began to write.

_My first minute in my new dorm room and my room mate has already annoyed the crap out of me. I don't know what it is, but for some reason I kind of like him but he's totally not gay so I have no chance in hell with him. I hope he doesn't find my yaoi porn books; he might not be too comfortable with the fact that I'm gay. Write to you later._

_Ps he likes Ramen_

(ok I had this idea when my boyfriend's good friend (who's a girl (I'm not jealous I'm way better looking than her)) told me that he keeps note to all the stuff I do I don't even remember some of the stuff she told me and that just yesterday lol.)


	2. Chapter 2

(A

(A.N. it's 1:38 in the morning yays!! _wow this is the latest I have ever stayed up at your house. normally by now your mom would have barged in saying go to sleep or I would have fallen asleep because I am lame like that. wow. lol._)

Chapter 2 of

The Night Talker

One week later

"Sasuke," Naruto asked while Sasuke looked at his yaoi book

"Have you ever had a ramen shot?'

"Ummm… no"

"Oh you're missing out big time come on!"

"No I'm studying!"

"What are you studying?" Naruto asked as he got up and pulled out the porno mag. from behind Sasuke's text book.

"Anatomy!" Sasuke said quickly while grabbing the book from Naruto before he got a better look at it.

"Oh ok but please, will you _please_ come with me?" Naruto started to give Sasuke puppy dog eyes that melted Sasuke's insides.

"No." Sasuke said trying to resist.

"Pretty please?" Naruto said transforming into his famous sexy-jutsu.

"Fine!" Sasuke exclaimed very annoyed with the naked woman standing seductively in front of him.

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"Ok Sasuke, these are my frien-"

"Hi, I'm Sakura," A pink hair girl said smoothly as she stepped closer Sasuke, "I'm single just so you know, I like hair dye and from what Naruto tells me, we have the same anatomy class."

"Shut up Sakura. Trust me you do not want to go out with her, I'm a much better catch, I'll take over your body any day." she said reaching out to touch Sasuke's spiky black hair.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Naruto said blocking her from touching him. "Chillax, you'll get a turn soon enough but now its time for Ramen-shots!"

"Fine," Ino said sadly as she looked really hard in to Sasuke's face "Sorry but I don't recognize you"

"Oh! That's cause I sit in the back of the class" Sasuke said covering up his lie.

"Yeah that's probably why; Sakura and I are always in the front. It's sort of like sibling rivalry but not at the same time." Ino said after Sasuke's comment.

"So what's a Ramen shot?" Sasuke asked trying to change the subject

"Ok it's ramen in a shot glass with vodka in it" said Sakura excitedly

"It was my idea" Naruto said proudly

Sasuke just looked at the shot glass that was placed in front of him, not sure if he should take it or not. Deep down he knew that if he did take the shot, he would become one step closer to the blonde he oh so desired, but still, ramen and vodka? That was a health issue of its own.

_Maybe it won't hurt me if I drink it fast._ Thought the Uchiha.

So Sasuke grabbed the shot glass in front of him and quickly downed it while everyone cheered.

"That's disgusting what else is in there!" Sasuke stated almost gagging.

"Ramen and Vodka that's it" said Naruto worried

"I guess I don't like the mix" Sasuke said with a funny face on.

"You just need some more here have this one" Laughed Ino

Sasuke down the second one too feel light headed from the vodka "A little better" said Sasuke with a calmer face on.

"Here try one more"

Sasuke down that one even faster, now drunk.

"Wow Sasuke you still look really stressed" Said Sakura, as she got up and started to rub Sasuke's shoulders with her hand, lightly rubbing her breasts against his back.

"Ummm.." Sasuke began to mumble as he tried to scoot away from the crazy pink haired girl. "I'm, ok. I'm not that stressed."

"Oh but you really do look it, here just relax" she said pressing her chest closer and harder this time until suddenly it stopped.

Sasuke looked behind him, only to see Sakura and Ino in each other's faces, glaring the other one down. He knew that pretty soon a cat fight would start, and even though Sasuke only knew the girls a little bit, he knew that one of them would be left dying on the street…or so, he hoped one would.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, chillax girls, if you guys want Sasuke you'll have to go through me first….I mean…why don't you have some more shots?"

"Fine," they both said as they drowned their remorse in vodka and ramen.

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When Sasuke and Naruto came back to the dorm it was nearly 1 in the morning and once Naruto hit his bed, he was out cold.

_Today I had a ramen shot, and like Naruto, it was bad at first but eventually it grew onto me. And also I have yet another reason to hate girls physically. How come everywhere I go I am surrounded by fan girls who want nothing more to do than seduce me? How come I can't just have fan boys? That would be soooo much better. I need to figure out more stuff about anatomy or transfer into the class or something because I'm not really sure how long I can keep this lie but, I hope I can._

_PS when the girls tried to rape me, Naruto said they would have to go trough him first to get to me, it makes me happy cause I know he cares… or…he just what's them to rape him too. _

(Did you know that studying in student and dying put together? _did you know that I thought up the idea of ramen shots? and since you are using my idea I should make you pay me_ can I pay you with pizza flavored ramen with otter pop chopsticks?_ That could work ___Now its 2:13am)


	3. Chapter 3

ok sorry for the long wait for the next chapter but D is in some far off land I don't know well so I'm editor less and waiting for her so ya sorry : (

ok sorry for the long wait for the next chapter but D is in some far off land I don't know well so I'm editor less and waiting for her so ya sorry : (


	4. Chapter 4 real Chapter 3

(A

(A.N. ok I'm writing this while D is off in some foreign land ok I have no idea where she is but when she comes back she will edit this so by the time you read this D will be back from her safari lol I really don't know where she is all I know is that she is not here and I miss her! oh ya I got my hair cut a lot of it I had long hair that would touch the middle of my back now it hits my ears ya that much!)

Chapter 3 of

**The Night Talker**

_Sasuke and Naruto were dared to do an elaborate karaoke performance to the hypnotic sound Spit Fire by Prodigy. _ _Sasuke was the singing lead while Naruto was belly dancing in the background really close to Sasuke for some unknown reason then!_

"WAKE UP SASU!!" yes, Sasuke was dreaming and well he wished he could go back and dream some more

"GOD DAMN IT I was having a really good dream!"

"I can tell" said Naruto referring to the hard member between Sasuke's legs.

"Then why did you wake me up its Saturday we don't have classes!"

"Well, I wanted to make up for last night. You practically got raped by two not so pretty girls, well Ino is kind of cute but I wouldn't want to get raped by her"

'So he really did care about my well being!' thought Sasuke

"So want to hang out today?"

'He's practically asking me out!' "Ya sure that'll be cool"

"Cool we'll leave at around 4:30 because it'll take a while to get there"

"Where?"

"It's a surprise!"

"It's not my birthday so you're kind of early by 6 months"

"No not your birthday it's just a surprise!"

"Ok well what time is it?"

"12:00"

"Lunch time?"

"Ya want some ramen? No vodka this time"

"Umm… no I kind of want something more solid like a sandwich."

"Ya they got those in the cafeteria… I think. I just look at the ramen not really anything else, well except apple sauce. They have really good apple sauce!"

"umm… ok" Sasuke stated getting up. He then took a shower, got dressed and went to the cafeteria. He was going to sit by Sai, the friend he made in his second class, but then Naruto called him over.

"Hey Sasuke over here!"

"Umm… can my friend sit with us?" yelled Sasuke unsure

"Ya sure come over here!" Sasuke and Sai walked over to where Naruto and his friends were sitting. Luckily the two girls weren't there, apparently Naruto saw Sasuke looking for them.

"Don't worry, the slut sisters still have hangovers and are in there room"

"The slut sisters who are they?" asked Sai really interested

"Oh just two girls that wanted to get in Sasuke's pants"

"What?! Two girls wanting to get in Sasuke's pants but he's-"

"Hey! I see you got some apple sauce Naruto!" Sasuke yelled nervously interrupting Sai.

"Ya its good! But go on Sai."

"Oh I was just saying that he has a small dick!" said Sai as if they were talking about classes and not penises.

Naruto was bursting out laughing "No he doesn't! I've seen it, it's huge!"

"I'm going to the dorm, I'm not hungry anymore" Sasuke left completely embarrassed from the too really good looking guys talking about his penis.

Naruto came in the dorm "Hey before we go to the surprise place I need to run an errand that you can't know about cause it's part of the surprise. So you can bring a book or something!"

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Sasuke and Naruto were in the girl's dorm building, Naruto entered a room leaving Sasuke in the hall. Sasuke wasn't sure if he liked it at all, yes the hall way was empty but he still wasn't sure if Sakura or Ino would come out, but so far so good. So pretty soon, Sasuke was sat down against the wall and began reading his yaoi magazines that were hidden behind a book.

**-In the slut sisters dorm-**

"Ok Ino, the next time we see Sasuke we won't fight over him. We'll just have a three some" Declared Sakura too Ino

"Fine bitch, I'm hungry let's go get something to eat."

With that they walked out of their room, only to see Sasuke alone sitting down at the end of the hall

"He's mine!!" yelled Ino before Sasuke noticed them.

Sasuke looked up to see two girls running at him with raving hunger in their eyes. It is probably the most scariest thing Sasuke has ever seen in his entire life.

Ino got to him first, pulling off their shirts and kissing him like no tomorrow, with Sakura trying to pull her off to get to him.

"No he's mine you bitch!"

"Get off my man!"

"Whoa, Whoa, Whoa" yelled Naruto. He had just come out of the room to see what all the commotion was about "Girls get off him!"

Sakura had already taken his pants off and was grinding her knee on his member.

Naruto took the two girls by their hair and started to pull them off Sasuke

"Ow, ow, ow" the two girls yelled while being forcefully yanked off Sasuke who was now curled up in a ball wearing only his boxers with his yaoi magazines in the open and scattered on the floor.

"What's this?" asked Naruto picking up the yaoi and looking at it. Sasuke had gotten his pants back on and looked up to see Naruto in shock over his Magazine.

"No!!" Sasuke yelled as he pulled the yaoi out of Naruto's hands and started running towards the dorm room.

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_Ok, this is NOT good. He found my books and I have no clue what to do. Maybe I can use the anatomy lie but I don't really think it will work. This is very bad._

(Ok the dream at the beginning, I had that dream and I woke up laughing my ass off so ya, I wonder what's going to happen next now that Naruto knows Sasuke's gay?

_wtf? a safari? I was in northern California. gosh..._)


	5. Chapter 5 real chap 4

(A

(A.N. ok I got some reviews that motivated me to write the next chapter and d is over cause she came back!! Yay.)

Chapter 4 of

**The Night Talker**

Sasuke was asleep by the time Naruto got back to the dorm. Naruto debated in his head if he should wake up Sasuke or if he should not. Even though he really wanted to tell Sasuke the important thing that was on his mind, he decided to let him sleep.

"Hey Sasu wake up I need to tell you something!" Naruto yelled, changing his mind at the last minute.

"What?!"

"Look about earlier, I'm sorry about them raping you and stuff but honestly, I'm fine with you being gay ok?"

"What?" Sasuke said again sitting up in his bed. "Really?"

"Ya, I happen to know a few gay people, so I'm ok with that type of stuff. Oh yeah! Because of your over reaction, you missed the surprise, so now your gonna see today! And don't worry, no errand this time, so it'll be faster and you probably won't get raped!" Naruto said with a laugh that cheered the brunette up rapidly.

"Oh, Ok then, I'll get ready!" Sasuke said getting up to go take a shower, and get dressed.

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"Ready?" asked Naruto extra excited about the surprise that awaited

"Ya I guess" Sasuke shrugged

"Ok then!" Naruto and Sasuke got into Naruto's car a green '69 Dodge Charger and started driving down town. Sasuke was getting nervous, he had never been down town before and was often told never to go there. Sasuke just then realized what Naruto was listening in the car.

"Is this… Madonna?"

"Ya why?" Naruto asked

"Well it's really gay no effence"

"Well you're really gay" Naruto joking replied.

"And?"

"Never mind we're here" Naruto parked the car in front of a bar

"What is this place?" asked Sasuke really confused

"It's a gay bar" Naruto said calmly

"What?! You don't have to come here because of me!"

"Sasuke, I'm gay"

(Wow you we're not expecting that were you! not the Naruto being gay but the gay bar you knew Naruto was gay this is a Sasunaru for Pete sakes! I got this idea while listening to gay bar lol! School has started so I thought I would be able to write more but apparently High school is hard so I've been busy during classes : ' ( so slow updates but maybe more frequent probably ever other weekend or more idk)


	6. Chapter 6

AN: Ok so High school is really hard like I'm not doing so good I paused with the story to get my grades back up and well now that I'm coming back with it I have writers block big time and I don't like to leave a story unfinished so if any of you have an idea on how to continue the story I'm all ears and eyes and well I need help, the story did really go as planned so ya.

~Alicefreak


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